Our baby boy is 1 today!! What a wild, joyous, exciting year it has been!
I have had so many people ask me why we say Liam is our miracle baby. Every baby is a miracle, but for us this meant much more. Our five year old son Landon has a genetic disorder called Fragile X Syndrome. It is on the X chromosome so obviously it was passed from me. I had no idea I was a carrier of this genetic disorder until we found out Landon had it at the age of 17 months. Each time the gene is passed it becomes more and more mutated. It is much more evident in males than females.
Another characteristic of having this genetic disorder is primary ovarian insufficiency meaning it will be hard to get pregnant again. (that is in words you can understand) So, we knew we had two things going against us. We struggled, we cried, we laughed, we were sad, etc. Those are just some of the MANY emotions we had after knowing what our future held for additional children. This is such a unique situation and it's not everyday you can talk with people that "get it." We knew we wanted more children so we began to pray. We prayed that God would just show us the way and prayed he would provide a doctor that knew how to handle our situation. After YEARS of praying, we were sent to Dr. Brabec in Overland Park, KS. We had many meetings with her about our situation. She gave us many options. So, it began. I started MANY medications to pursue invitro fertilization. We began the process of many shots at home, pills to take, etc. Let's just say it's not a fun thing. I remember every time Nate would give me the shot in my bottom, I would pray for our sweet baby and that years from now I would be able to know him, hold him, and play with him. After a week of this, it was time for us to see how my body was reacting to medication. After a blood draw, it was indicated that the medication dosage needed to be higher. We pushed the pedal to the metal as I called it. In the next few weeks my body was finally ready for the egg retrieval and then five days later the transfer of embryos. My emotions were high. My body was sore. My anxiety was through the roof, but I knew Landon would be a big brother. We waited seven days for that call after a blood draw. I was NOT PREGNANT. I will never forget that day. It was the summer of 2009. I was driving to get Landon from summer school. I pulled up to the parking spot and cried. I couldn't bear to go in the school to get him just yet. I just kept crying out and asking "why?" I didn't understand. Why didn't God allow this? After pulling myself together I finally went in. My sweet friend's Mom was sitting on the bench and could tell I had been crying. She simply asked the famous words, "are you okay?" I just lost it. How do you share all that in a simple sentence?? You just don't! I didn't know our future at that point. I didn't know if I would ever be pregnant again. I felt like I had failed, I was hopeless, fearful, tired. The devil would try and put thoughts in my head of how could I put Nate through all of this, and that he sure didn't sign up for any of this when we married each other! Then, the Lord simply put those thoughts away and they never came back. I have the greatest husband that would never say or think that. I remember telling Nate those thoughts. He almost got mad at me for even thinking that he would think that. In that moment God showed me the main reason we were meant to be. If you know our history in dating, you will get that. All those other guys I dated probably couldn't have handled everything we were going through in our lives. Nate was my rock here on earth and still is.
Nate and I knew God had a plan for another child in our lives. There was never a doubt in our minds. We weren't going to stop. We knew we had to try again. Selfishly, I was not excited to do this to my body again. After gaining 10 pounds, it was hard. God simply put those selfish desires out of me, and we began the process again. We had those same emotions again, but I knew the outcome was going to be different. I had a peace like no other time before. Same thing, same story. The seven days passed and the phone call was made that I WAS PREGNANT!
Liam is not a carrier of Fragile X Syndrome. To say we are SO BLESSED doesn't even touch the surface.